Sometimes it's okay to eat ice cream and run.

Often, we look back on "easier" times in our lives and think, "remember those days when all I had to worry about was...". Come on, we all do it. When I was in fifth grade I'd look back and remember the good ol' days when my biggest concern was if I'd finish playing barbies in time to catch my favorite episode of Rugrats. When I was in High school and was working 2 jobs thinking life couldn't get harder, I'd look back to the days of middle school when I could finish all my homework in class and played with friends everyday. And now that I am in college, I envy the days when I actually had a job and could finish my homework before going to sleep at a decent hour. It was at a young age that I realized after graduating from high school, comes college and after college comes real life (and taxes!) and it just continues to get harder until you die. Wherever we are in the journey, we want to be at that next step, and then once we get there, we miss the past when things were simpler. I think we can all agree that we always want what we can't have, and once we have it, it loses its appeal. Now I'm not in school until september and knowing what I now know, I'm uneasy about what's to come. I currently go to sleep at 2 and wake up at 10, get stressed when my work outs don't reap results or am overwhelmed with frustration when I burn my baking endeavors. I miss my boyfriend and am not getting as many hours at Dairy Queen as i'd like, but since I know that it only gets harder from here, I think I'm doing a much better job of appreciating the trials I'm facing at this point in my life. It's only going to get crazier when school starts and on top of needing to work, being concerned with my grades and health... something is clear. Everything works out. always. Not always in the way that is ideal or convenient, but always in a way that is manageable. I have a heavenly father who is mindful of me and how frustrated I am when I gain a pound or bomb a test, and though sometimes I want to be upset, the fact remains that I know despite shortcomings, he is still mindful of me. I can't pout when I know everything will always work out! it's hardly fair ;) I once heard a quote in a movie that said "I've done some research, and statistics show that 10 out of 10 people...die. So really, why worry?" ...why worry. It's ok. It's hard to bomb a test, you studied so hard for, so cry. dwell for a few minutes, go for a walk to calm down (or bake cookies if you are me) and then move on! because mourning the lost success will not change the outcome. Yesterday I woke up, went for a run and ate ice cream. I watched a movie with my friend, and then worked out some more because I felt guilty about eating the ice cream. I love baking and since I took a culinary class suddenly think that I'm just naturally going to be good at it. I decided to make eclairs (easier said than done). After trying to get the batter correct for an hour, I was called into work, and burned the eclairs. I cried. I was frustrated, felt inadequate and very unaccomplished. So after work, I ate more ice cream! (and here i wonder why i'm not losing weight haha) but ya know what? This morning the craziest thing happened... the sun rose! It's true! The world kept turning, the newspaper man still dropped off the paper, and my eclairs were still burned. This is what I learned. Sometimes the eclairs are going to burn. Sometimes it's ok to eat ice cream and run. Because despite whatever happens on one day, the next day is a chance for a fresh start. Just because I don't know how to long divide well, doesn't mean that tomorrow I can't learn to do long division well! It's a beautiful thing. This post ended up being a lot longer and more random then I intended so for that i apologize... maybe I should take my own advice and save it for the journal! With that being said, I think I'll go work out :)

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