Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Life can be such a roller coaster sometimes! Makes me wish I ate a lighter lunch :/

College is hard. Period.
If it's not hard, you were born on a bed of four leaf clovers, or aren't working hard enough.
We all know this. Some have been there, done that, some are there now, and some are anxiously awaiting in blissful ignorance.
Don't get me wrong, I love college, but some days are just so much better than others. I'm in the same boat as everyone else on campus worrying about homework, saving every penny to afford to eat, and wondering if I'm remotely appealing to the opposite sex... But sometimes you just feel like its just you; floundering above the surface alone. You know those days. The ones where someone asks how you are doing and the only polite and un-depressing description you can give is "It's just one of those days"? Well today might have fit under that category. For your entertainment I'll start from the beginning.
9:30- I woke up (not feeling like P-diddy mind you. I go to bed at 2 am, I promise I'm not that lazy)
11:30- Class. Guess what, I really do enjoy learning. I daresay I love it. It's just unfortunate I'm forced to learn the material so fast that it may not stick :(
2:00 come home feeling sick. (I've had an intolerance to dairy the last week or so. Which doesn't make me a happy camper. That's what I get for working at Dairy Queen for 2 1/2 years) I also receive a text from my brother asking if there was previously a dent on the back bumper of my car.... FYI there wasn't, but I wasn't too concerned.
3:00 Go to the library and attempt to be a good student.
6:00 Come home, go to check out my car. Cry. That "small" dent I'd imagined happens to be the size of my face.
6:05 Find my roommate Caitlyn, and cry more. It's dumb to cry about something I cannot change. This I know, and frankly I never thought I'd react in the manner I did regarding my car. But I think it was just a match to a gas can of frustration. I'm gonna explain how I am like a man in this way: My car is my baby. I worked A LOT in high school to earn enough money to purchase it, and have payed the price (quite literally) to keep it in good shape. I wax it, armor all the interior, vacuume, keep it clean, touch up little paint chips, my daddy takes care of the maintenance like oil changes, I pay for "great" insurance, moral of the story, I love this little car! I get it, accidents happen... but this car is the only thing I really have of serious value next to my laptop. Now I feel like it has a tramp stamp. What bothers me most I think is that I didn't even get into an accident! It was a hit and run. Happy birthday to me. I understand we are all poor college students, it was probably an accident, and maybe they panicked... but come on! Who leaves a dent that big, and not a note to even say sorry :( needless to say, If you aren't aware, I am devastated. I called my mom who happens to be my Diary, poor woman. She said something kind of sad... she said "Why is it every time you call me you are crying?" (disclaimer, I call her daily, I'm not always crying) but I know why that's the case. I told her it's because I miss her. I haven't been homesick in the past but I am this time. I miss my mommy. I've never been the super touchy-lovey affectionate type, and though I rarely cuddle up to my mommy, I miss knowing that if I needed to lay on her lap, she wasn't too far away. I suppose it's those times when things feel unbearable that you yearn to be back in the comfort of your childhood home where troubles melted like lemon drops. That's my explanation. Anyway, I called my mommy... and cried even more. Dang I'm a baby. Turns out that $500 fat ones I drop twice a year for car insurance is not as kind to me as I am to it. I promise I'm not That materialistic, It's just circumstances like these that add to my already existent financial stress don't settle well. Even if I wanted to make the repair on my car, I do not have enough money for it. I get it, I'm lucky to have a car at all. Moving on...
6:45 I Prepared a lesson for Family Home Evening and fixed my make-up. As if I wasn't already running late (great first impression) My printer decides to rebel against me. Not cool.
7:00 I went to FHE, my new "Family" is wonderful. I'm very excited.
Funny story about my roommate Lindsay. Last night we went to a fireside for our stake. Caitlyn decided to draw a picture of an elephant and write "for a fun date, call Lindsay. (with her number)" on it. The fireside concludes and when the guys in front of us stand up, Lindsay tells them they dropped the paper, and hands them the drawing. then hauls it out of there! What she did not know was that they are our new FHE brothers.
8:15 With that little story in mind, we decided to dress in all black and draw on their front porch, with sidewalk chalk, and elephant with the words "Call for a fun date!" including our numbers. It was loads of fun! That lifted my spirits.
We come home, and my bed collapses, I broke my cell phone charger, and my printer is still being a stink. Awesome. My brother comes over and hangs out for a while, and fixes all my problems (the ones we could at least). I spend the rest of the evening taking care of other little things and trying to not think about my car.

I'll admit I've had a few small melt downs while at school, but let me tell you something... I think... I might be okay. I have no idea what I'm doing, and as someone who must always have a plan, all of this unknown future scares the tar out of me. I don't know where I'll be living and working in the next 3 months let alone in the future. All the same, I'm trying to wake up every morning thinking today is a new day to be happy. Happy that I'm 19 and generally healthy. Happy that I share a room with one of my patient, and closest friends. Happy that I can get an education, have access to the internet and clean running water. And happy that I have the fullness of the gospel in my life. Here's a great little video I'd recommend watching, I sure have been a lot lately. It's a keeper :) I don't know if anyone really reads this but If someone does, I'm sorry for the Debbie downer post. Life is a roller coaster, today I sure felt like was one! With its ups and downs, sometimes we even throw up, but most of the time you get off of it in one piece, thinking, "that was a fun ride".
"Life is good. It is oh so good." -Stephanie Neilsen.

1 comment:

  1. Hey Honey, sorry you had to have one of those days. I miss you. I think of you quite a lot. I want you to know I love you. The bitter is so we can taste the sweet. I know your future will work out because you are a beautiful strong woman.


Oh hey! You're awesome.