Wednesday, December 21, 2011

The Good, The Bad, and The Straight-up NASTY!

I have good news, bad news, and something horrendously disgusting to share.
The good news is:
Needles, actually. I found 2. Wait, whaaat? And whyyyyy were there needles in your pillow?
Let me explain. I had this pillow that I loooved more than Josh Hutcherson covered in chocolate. Does anyone remember those super cozy "Moshi" pillows? You know, the ones with all the little microbeads that lovingly shaped to every curve? Well, I've had one for years and have just about slept the life out of it, that those little beads, like the STD of packing material, started falling out into my bed and getting all up into everything! So I decided my 8th grade home economics class taught me enough that I would be able to successfully make myself a nifty little pillow case to keep all those buggers at bay. And I did! I took some old white tank tops (because who doesn't love that soft t-shirt material?) and fashioned a new ruffly pillow case. The problem was... apparently some needles slid in there somewhere. I didn't know this until I rolled over in the middle of the night and got poked in the face with a needle! Again and again and again! I don't know what's worse, having the crumbs of your favorite pillow getting in every crack and crevace of your bed and body, or being attacked with sharp metal in the middle of the night with that very same pillow!?

Moshi, I don't care what you do to me, 
I will always love you. 
(So stop trying to sabotage me.)

The point is, I've found it! MUAHAHAHAHAHAAHA
Now I, and those needles, may rest in peace :)

Also, I stayed behind after school ended to clean the apartments, which meant I was all alone. Sometimes, that's a good thing. I read, slept, walked around in my spanks, wrote, and danced. ALOT!!!!
Zumba can suck it. I like to dance :)

Now, the Bad news:
Has anyone ever read The Hunger Games? Ok, though gruesome, I'd highly recommend them. If you haven't read them, you may not understand what I mean, but lately I've been having hunger games dreams. 
Do you understand people?

I'm talking wake-up-yelling-and-sweating nightmares!
I haven't been killed in any of them yet, you know, just badly injured and viciously killing off innocent competitors. No biggy really.
Um, yes biggy!!!
People get institutionalized for this sort of thing!!!!
I've been able to tolerate it, but more recently, more and more people I know have popped up in these dreams. NOT OKAY!
Caitlyn: I'm reeeeaaally sorry for pushing you down that stairwell...
and Michael: I swear that ax was aimed at the person behind you! Why would I stab my own brother, come oooon, be a man and walk it off!
I've read that you get very abstract dreams because your brain is distrubuting multiple pathways of information at once, figuring out which memories to keep and which ones to dump in order to make more space, yadda yadda...
When these thoughts that are not usually used to crossing, cross, you get something pretty out of the ordinary. badda bing, badda boom= stabbed brother.
It's not my fault my brother just so happened to cross at the same time the Hunger Games did...

Really though, I seriously need to stop watching the trailer for that movie, or thinking about the books before I go to bed.

Oh man, more dreams like this and people aren't gonna want to live with me!

Now onto the STRAIGHT-UP-NASTY!!!
Brace yourselves. Seriously. You may never trust again.


Here's my face when I saw that suspicious little demon, while spreading some delicious freezer jam:

And here's my face when I pulled it out and realized what it was:
No wonder that bread was on sale. It wasn't even a cheap-o brand! And here I thought I was in the clear. HA!
consider this girl seeeeriously mortified. I haven't eaten bread since.
Looks like I'll be making my own bread from now on!
Anywho, this little lady is officially home! So let's see what kind of chaos we can cause in this lil town shall we?
Til next time!


  1. I love you! You're sooooo funny and I am thoroughly disgusted by your bread too.

  2. LOVE your blog! Hate that you found a fingernail in your bread...that's DISGUSTING! I'm your newest follower and can't wait to read more!

    If you get a chance, I'd love for you to stop by:

  3. so funny! i just found your blog from LIY and loving it so much! hi, friend!

  4. Thank you so much for linking up-you are too cute!!! I love your blog but tell me, is there a follow button on here or am I totally blind? I want to follow asap but am having trouble seeing where I can do so :) Cant wait to keep reading!!


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