Friday, December 2, 2011

"Oh, these times are hard, yea they're makin us crazy, don't give up on me baby."

Life truly is a complex and fragile thing that is not easily given, yet easily lost.
It balances on a paper peak, ready to blow over in any direction.
I've found sometimes the only thing we can rely on with surety is gravity and that nothing but Momma's love is absolute. (At least with my mom.)

When you think about it, I mean really think about it, it's pretty remarkable people even leave their houses, let alone not wear helmets everywhere they go, and keep their hearts behind padlocked doors.

People are remarkable. I know I've said it before, but I'm frequently reminded of it. People have a capability of being vulnerable for the things they want, forgive without forgetting, and open themselves up to being hurt over and over again with the hopes that someday it will be worth it. 

On my first lake boating activity with the youth in my ward, I went tubing. I'd never done it before. The third time I got thrown off that inner tube, I hit the water pretty hard and had the wind knocked out of me. It really really hurt, and more than that it scared me. Not only could I not breathe in the water, but for a short time, I couldn't breathe above of the water either. 
It's not natural to feel that way.
I told myself I'd never go tubing again.
Eight years later, I finally got on an inner tube again. Just for the ride though, I made it very clear to the driver to not throw me off, because if I had anything to do with it, I would not risk reliving that painful experience.

That's the kind of kid I was. I played it safe. I've never had stitches, I've never broken a bone, in fact, with the exception of my period, I'm not even sure I'm capable of bleeding. Badly.

I'm fascinated, yet do not fully understand people who are able to jump back on the inner tubes of life over and over again. I'm envious, but just can't grasp their fearlessness. 

In regards to physical risks, I read that males are more likely to do dangerous things because they have a tendency of overestimating their abilities. They think they are invincible. On the contrary, females are less likely to take risks because they underestimate their abilities. I suppose this is one of the many divine attributes given by God that makes men and women so compatible with each other.
Though this is true for physical risks, I'd like to believe males and females have equal hesitation when it comes to emotional risks, but I have yet to find tangible proof. Emotionally, people are just so difficult to label.


I'll bet that has a lot to do with it.
Faith in yourself.
Faith in the economy.
Faith in God's plan.
Faith in others.

We had a stake conference last month, and something my stake president said really resonated deep within me. It wasn't anything really new to me, but it was something I needed to hear. He said, "Do not let fear control you." He went on to say, in more or less words, that we should not let ourselves become prisoners to our fears and let them dominate our actions. They have no say in our choices. Fear, when it is discouraging and demeaning is not prompted by the Lord. He will act as a comforter.

 I really needed to hear that. Right then, and still even right now.

Good huh? Satan will really use our fears against us to inhibit us from accomplishing some pretty incredible things I'd imagine.

Often times i've heard "faith and fear cannot coexist." They root from two separate places, one of hope, and another of discouragement. 
I've learned, more personally than I'd probably like that "fear is the opposite of faith."

Fear isn't always bad. I know this. By all means, please discourage me from messing around with gasoline and fire because I'm fearful I may get burned, but contrarily, don't discourage me from complimenting that shy girl because I'm afraid she'll will think I'm a freak.

Maybe I lack faith, and have many fears.
Sometimes don't we all?
Get back on that inner tube.
 You may get slammed pretty hard again. So may I. We won't ever forget it. For me, Eventually I'll realize the thrill makes the pain so worth it, and maybe I'll even walk away scar free.
I hope we all can do that. Otherwise, I'd imagine there is a lot to miss out on.

Hey you, whoever you are,
I'm sorry if my fears have bled into your own. Thank you so much for being patient. I know you get scared too. It has, and is gonna take time. Maybe a lot more of it. Ironically, one of my fears is wasting time. We should have some fun with that.
As one of my favorite songs says:
"Oh, these times are hard, yea they're makin us crazy, don't give up on me baby."
We're gonna be ok.

 People are scared. 
but they also are capable
Capable of hurting and healing, loving and losing, and most of all, of taking chances, and relying on faith that it will be ok.

Read the words. They're the best part.

1 comment:

Oh hey! You're awesome.