Monday, January 16, 2012

 Don't you ever have texting conversations that make you wonder how on earth have I become an associate of these people? Sometimes you just have to look back and appreciate how strange we all can be.
Maybe these are things that are only funny to me, and you just had to be there, buuuuut, this is a recent conversation between me and a random new acquaintance.

Friend- Ka Ching
Valerie- hahaha
Friend- why are you texting me, I don't even know you.
Valerie- Balut is a fertilized duck egg with a nearly developed embryo inside that is boiled and eaten in the show.
Friend- American car horns beep to the tone F
Valerie- When male bumble bees climax, their testicles explode and then they die.
Friend- hmmm, totally gives new meaning to the term "going out with a bang."
Valerie- I know. God did it right when he created the bumble bee
Friend- The plastic things on the end of shoelaces are called aglets.
Valerie- The metal pipe under the toilet is called a "ballcock". Ironic? yes.

Friend- Game over. I already knew that. Sorry. I've installed a few toilets in my day, and it is actually the piece inside the tank that fills it. Good try though.
Valerie- Screw this man, I hate high school.
 Friend- I didn't go to high school, I was home schooled.
Valerie- That explains everything.

Did you just learn a few new facts? "I gotta lifetime of knowledge" (She's the man quote anyone?)
I'm not sure if this makes us really cool, or total freaks....
Onto my brother, the same evening.

Stephonovich- hehehe. I just noticed I still have (my very old ex boyfriend's) number in my phone contacts :)
Valerie- Why on earth would you?
Stephonovich- No clue. I remember I got it from you when we had a pizza eating contest, and I sent him an intimidating message or something...
Valerie- You should mess with him. Act like he's a girl your husband is cheating on you with or something. Rip into him haha
Stephonovich- That's genuis. What if he still has my number in his contacts? :)
Valerie- Unlikely. He'll ask who it is if he doesn't.
Stephonovich- But he might still have it!!! I had a feeling he secretly loved me more than you. Maybe he'd be hoping we'd be bro's once I got older :)
Stephonovich- No Homo. Beeteedubs
Valerie- Oh no doubt. Dude. "beeteedubs" is homo in itself. Never again haha
Stephonovich- Beeteedubs is not homo. Unless you say it to another guy. then that's just asking to get in his pants.
Valerie- You have to wash the vomit off my sheets now.
Stephonovich- Now you'll never be able to say beeteedubs to anyone with a straight face :)
Stephonovich- For shizzle. Btw, mom and I checked today, Natalie (my lil sister) has texted more than everyone else this month. She can't even go to dances yet, let alone date. So we're perplexed to say the least.
Stephonovich- My abs are absolutely, remarkably chisled. Beeteedubs :)
Valerie- Aaaand that's my cue to go to bed.
Stephonovich- Oh sorry, make you feel awkward? I assumed ____ (my more recent ex) sent you messages like that all the time :) haha wow. I'll admit that was kinda homo. I need sleep.
Valerie- Yea, lil bit. Tootles shnookums. Have sweet gumdrop dreams.
Stephonovich- You best be hittin them sheets, yo. Dontcha know it be late in rexbizzle. peace out home skillet. word to our mother, dawg.

Wow. My Little brother is just a little too cool for his own good.
Future civilizations are going to look back and try to find the root to the fall of the intelligence of mankind. Yes, they will hypothosize texting to be a cause, but there is no doubt they will find my texting records as their most prized proof of their theory.

To said future civilization: We may be dumb, but at least we have a sense of humor.  Boo YA.

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