As we are all painfully aware, Valentine's Day is tomorrow. Last years V-day was pretty unbeatable for me, so it'll be hard to top, but there is hope. We are now accepting applications from the vast array of pursuers aching to be our Valentines. It's a long process to sift through resumes, so gentlemen, for your convenience, we've created a requirement list to narrow it down :)
You must be:
-Employed, rich or an heir to a great fortune. We're not too picky as to where this fortune is coming from.
-Chisled. Ryan Reynolds style.
-Must love giving back massages, watching chick flicks, and snuggling. Quit your day job, your full time duty is to please us ;)
-Loves showering their women with gifts. aka: us.
-Smart, funny, attractive, good with kids.
-Must think we are the most attractive women on the face of the planet.
-Spiritual and Christ-like.
-Aaand basically perfect in every way.
This isn't too much to ask it is?! I mean really.
Look at us, who could resist?
Far left: Linds.
-She loves sour patch kids, wearing footie pajamas with Valpal, sounding like a creeper, and moans in her sleep. She is funny as I'll get out, and dances to the beat of her heart. Her dream date would be braiding each others hair, painting each others nails, and having pillow talk with a big strong man.
Middle: Yours Truly, Valpal.
-Loves blogging, white cheddar popcorn, and sleeps with a Dairy Queen Build-A-Bear.
(Yeah. You're jealous.)
I'm a cuddle bug to the max, love wrestling, and knows the way to a mans heart is through his stomach ;) My dream date would be this. But, since that's unobtainable, my second choice would be (with Ben Affleck. Obvi.) getting icee's and an amazing back massage while watching Pearl Harbor.
Far right: Chrissy.
-Makes bomb.com kettle corn, attracted to the hipster style, and wears matching leopard print grandma pajamas (ya know, the button up kind?). She is selfless, makes the yummiest treats, and has long elegant nails for scratching boys backs. Her dream date would be fish tacos and techno music... In the alps in Norway. Or dinner and a movie. She's not too picky.
Additionally, we've made Valentine's boxes with our roommates, so you handsome men know where to place all of our gifts :) Don't worry, we included ring sizes... if ya know what I mean!
Presh right? We're going kindergarten style.
Gents, you have one day. I'll brace my inbox for the influx of applications.
May the best man win :)
Would you take applications from girls?
ReplyDeleteVAl... MY Giant box was not supposed to be on a cute person kinda blog :P haha Love the post the fish tacos and techno music is my favorite date as well... Hands down.
ReplyDeleteLove This!!
ReplyDelete