Sunday, September 30, 2012

Wish list-2012 Part 1

Ladies, I smell Christmas in the near future, do you know what that means?!
    It's Wish-list time.

1. Gold Hoops (because lets be honest, they'll never go out of style!) 2. Sephora Lipgloss 3. Round Readers. Urban Outfitters 4. Denim Shirt 5. Sephora 12 hr Eyeliner 6. Striped Maxi Skirt 7.OPI nail polish in "Bubble Bath" 8. Forever 21 gift card. (Michaels, Ross, Urban outfitters and Sephora are also equally accepted ;) 9. (Not shown) Money to pay for my Praxis exam...or car insurance. Ooh yea, that'd be nice.

Can I get an AMEN!

Thursday, September 20, 2012

Demands. Warning, this is not pretty.

Do you ever have those days? 
Those days where you just feel like more than enough is being demanded of you?

It's not like it's been a particularly hard day or that my husband has been anything less than wonderful, it's just been long, tiring, and overly demanding. 
And so help me...
If one more dish demands to be washed, 
one more towel demands to be folded, 
one more pillow demands to be fluffed, 
one more homework assignment demands to be done,
one more self conscious thought demands me to work out, 
one more tear threatens to fall from my eyelashes for no.blasted.good.reason, 
then I will have no choice but to go out to the garden, dig up a small and innocent worm and torture it with every evil bone in my body. (Too much?)

My adult senses that draw back the childhood memories of being taught right and wrong demand me to stop acting like a whiny and immature two-year-old and suck it up.

But I. don't. want. to. 
(you should have read that in a whiny two-year-old voice, otherwise we can't be friends)
What I want is to have a bowl of popcorn all to myself, curl up in bed in my panties, watch Coraline, or The Fantastic Mr. Fox, or some other movie far below my level of mental stimulation, and to wake up to a perfectly clean house, and all my homework done.

Is that really too much to ask?!
And when I wake up and this is not the case,
THIS will be the face I make as my eyes most likely prey on the pair of plaid pajama pants on the ground (or my unsuspecting husband breathing my air) :
 Which will then be followed by this face:
 Then my husband will most likely have the pleasure of being woken up by a display similar to this:
( and yes, if needed I may just even pound on my chest like Donkey Kong. I'll try to resist shoving a remote control up my rump.)
Only to be followed by none other than this reaction:

Heaven forbid, if I have to close one more cabinet door, my brain may very well explode into a Jackson Pollock across the inside of my cranium.

Someone tell me I'm not the only one who has these days!
With that being said, I will be in my room, with some popcorn, ignoring anything and everything that is driving my OCD self to insanity.

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

About marriage...

My husband came home from the store, grabbed his guitar and proceeded to put his foot WITH HIS SHOES ON onto our nice white sheets. 

Ever so sweetly I say, "Ryan, no shoes on the bed please."

His solution?

He thinks he's soooo clever.

If there are pajamas between your shoe and the bed... apparently your shoes aren't on the bed. 

I can already tell parenthood is gonna be an adventure.

Thursday, September 13, 2012

Wanna know the truth?

Fake eyelashes are awesome.
If you are a trichtimaliac, a little annoying. ( I for one, cannot go a day without touching/pulling out eyelashes... it's an issue)

I got them for my wedding, feeling that after all the hard work of being waited on hand and foot, and getting the wedding of my dreams, I deserved a little indulging :)

And it was awesome.

Now you know my secret, I'm a fake.
But seriously, my make up routine was cut in half and I woke up feeling like Kim Kardashian!

But here's the harsh truth. 
All good things come to an end.
Those lil lashes started falling out in chunks. BIG chunks, and taking my sweet natural eyelashes with them. What was I left with? After I was tired of looking like a drag queen too poor to afford her falsies, I gently pulled the sad remains out.

The following image may disturb you, please proceed with caution. Intended for mature eyes only...

Behold.... my pathetic wisps of eyelashes.

(cue music from "Psycho" ...weee weee weeee!)

I never knew how luscious my natural eyelashes were until they were half gone!
Now I'm Eyelash-less.

I look like a newborn and am NOT a happy camper about it.

Good thing my husband already married me, he's stuck for life :) Muahahahahah!

Next time you consider some temporary falsies, don't say I didn't warn you!

Now it's back to the books, this girl has homework.