Tuesday, November 20, 2012

And so the Stalking Begins

So one of my dearest friends had a birthday this last week, which naturally warrants some girl time, lunch out on the town, visiting the pound to gawk over the sweet doggies, and being stalked in Walmart.
Yes, you heard right. Legitimately stalked.
There I am in the shampoo aisle looking at hairsprays when Ellie comes over and whispers "Val... I really think we are being followed." I totally thought she was being a lil cray-cray considering we live in basically the safest town in America. (Seriously, last weeks police report noted the bandit who left the store with two gallons of milk without paying, and the smoke detector set off at an apartment complex from burnt bacon...)

Ellie proceeded to tell me that she'd noticed the same older guy pass our aisle from both ends mutiple times and looking at us as if he were circling. I was like oookay Shells, until I saw it too! I went to the end of the aisle, turned the corner, and this peeping Tom was staring around the corner a few aisles down, slowly pulled back when I saw him.
I totally felt just like this kept happening:

But really... Creepiest thing ever?!

We thought maybe we were just being paranoid, so we went to the other end of the store to the Christmas decorations and low and behold, he followed us and was peeking over some girls clothes racks across the way. By that point it was getting really weird. We kept moving back through the store and like a magnet, he moved with us now lurking in the baby supplies. BABY SUPPLIES?! How about you just put a sign across your face that says "I'm a child molester!?"

He held a phone to his ear the whole time but wasn't talking on it and looked maybe 35-40 years old. We were so freaked out. We wandered the store for a while until we lost him and thought it was safe to go buy our stuff and go out to the car, but before we did, we decided to see if he was still lurking around just to make sure we knew where he was. Lo and behold, Creeper McCreeperson was back circling the shampoo aisle where we originally spotted him. We began towards the register trying to maneuver as far from him as possible and not 3 seconds after we saw him straight ahead in the shampoo section and turned left to walk away from him, did we cross paths with him coming from the left side, towards us! THE MAN APPARATED THERE! I have NO clue how he moved so blasted fast! Concerned for our dog-gone lives, we called Ellie's husband and his brother to come get us. When they got there, we got the male confirmation that something was seriously up with that dude.

We can now check "Stalked at Walmart" off our bucket lists.

[x] Almost kidnapped (age 17)
[x] Goosed at a concert (age 18)
[x] Stalked in a Walmart (age 21)

We met the sweetest puppy at the pound and attracted a legitimate creeper, I'd say we had a fairly productive day.


  1. oh my gosh. my heart is racing right now. I'd suggest a few days before your next walmart trip! :)

  2. Ahhh! Scary!

    What does "goosed at a concert" mean?


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