Friday, November 16, 2012

Valerieville

College keeps me busy. 
Then there are certain days where, hypothetically, I may be sitting in a postmodern literature class discussing the literary techniques found in the pages of Cormac McCarthy's post apocalyptic, dystopian novel "The Road", when I begin to get a little depressed by the subject matter and the cannibalistic state of living therein (weird right?). This is when my mind may be subject to wander to a little Utopia of my own... I invented it in seventh grade and am proud to offer you a round trip pass to a little place I like to call Valerieville :) I swear, I wasn't one of those kids whose only friends were imaginary... I think. haha

In fact, here I am at the awkward prime age of 14 when I came up with this imaginary utopia.
If I could go back in time, I'd introduce myself to a pair of tweezers and a treadmill...

Anywho, 
Valerieville goes a little something like this: 
(You have to read ALL of this in a british accent... because that is how I narrate things in my noggin :)

In Valerieville, I own a bakery where I get to decorate cakes all day. I'll eat whatever I want and never gain a pound because I have been "blessed" with good genes.

I  also have adorable perfect babies that never cry or poop, whom I  blog about from time to time. In these blogs I take flawless pictures with my expensive camera, fine tuned with my grade-A photoshop skills. 

I also take pictures of the disgustingly fashionable outfits I wear and have a wardrobe so large and up-to-date that I never wear the same outfit twice. 

I wear high heels when I go grocery shopping and others think that I am so suave. 

I am funny (to people other than me and my mom. haha) 

Money literally grows on trees. 
I own a Sephora store and get everything I want for free (la duh!)

I am given an unlimited allowance from the hubby solely (pun totally intended) for shopping for shoes online. 

And the laundry folds itself. 

Did I forget I'm a wizard. Yea... I'm a wizard. 

The snow is warm, everyone drives with the top down, and Diet Cherry Dr. Pepper is our water. It's sort of the greatest place ever.

Just as I was getting really deep into my day dreams, class ended and I was snapped back into reality. Now I'm blogging, wearing the same sweats I've had since I was 14 and exposing how much of a nerd I truly am. 

My mom probably should have enrolled me in more sports when I was younger :) haha



3 comments:

  1. hahahaha this made my night. okay so i am currently reading "The Road," in my American Lit class this semester and I do not blame you a bit for escaping to your own hilariously awesome world.
    that. book. is soooo depressing. and scary. have i mentioned that i can't read it at night? alone? at all? just kidding. but it does kind of freak me out.

    your blog's adorable!

    xo,
    kristyn

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  2. bahaha this is amazing. I could be down with Valerieville. :P

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  3. Having perfect pictures to put on my blog whenever I wanted to and getting all the stuff in a Sephora store for free would definitely be part of my dream world!

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Oh hey! You're awesome.