Saturday, January 18, 2014

3 Things That Will Inevitably Ruin Your Night.

It's Friday night.
I know what you are thinking (cue Rebecca Black's one-hit wonder...)
We gotta get down, It's Friday. (Have you ever tried speaking song lyrics? Comical.)

Getting down on Friday nights are obviously much different when you are married than when you are single. Rather than hitting the club, we were plunging a toilet. Instead of meeting up with the gang, we were meeting our work and homework deadlines. Dining at a fine location? Ha. Denny's it is.

Let's talk about Denny's. At BYU-I, Friday night curfew was the wee hour of 1 AM. That meant that if you were a serious rebel, you could drive a half hour to Idaho Falls to get a midnight milkshake, watch the awesome novelty waiter balance a chair on his nose, leave a crummy college student tip, and race back as the bad-A student to are-breaking curfew-arriving home at 1:15 am. Who doesn't have fond midnight Denny's runs?

Tonight Ryan and I decided to go on our date a little later and naturally at 10:30 at night, Denny's was looking pretty good. Ryan even coined the slogan "Denny's; when you're too tired to care" while we were pulling up.

We ordered some nachos that looked way good in the menu. Plus, every employee working there was a Latino male, so I expected some serious carne-delicioso-nacho-grande-goodness from these amigos. 

What we got was looked a lot like dried tortilla pieces with chili on top. Not even real cheese.

Nachos from Denny's: Way no. 1 to ruin your night.  

 We also split a burger that too looked a lot less gray and stale on the menu. I ate half of my half before I realized I wanted to live to see tomorrow and should just stop. Then, in an attempt to fix the already broken, I said I wanted dessert. Ya know, because nothing covers up a pile of day-old slime and grease in your stomach like a bunch of frozen sugar covered in high fructose corn syrup. Thanks to Ryan's better judgement, he convinced me that ordering anything else from Denny's would surely give us the same result as the 2 items prior: utter dissatisfaction and regret. So, we thought we'd hop next door to Burger King, they have good desserts, right?

The evening progressed as follows:
10:43- Walk into BK, ask female employee if they have a dessert menu. She points to poster on wall. Ask employee if they had prices for the dessert menu, she replies with the price of one item. Realize female employee is in fact a male employee. With boobs... and a lot of make-up. I have nothing against trannies, (tranny's? trannys'?) but I've seen so few in my life that it was noteworthy. Order oreo sundae.

10:44-Sit down with Ryan, notice that again, we are the only white people around (again, not bad, but I'm from Washington, this is kind of a first for me, so yes, noteworthy.) Then I ask him if he noticed that the guy sitting across the room looking at his phone and having ordered nothing, had followed us in. He was unaware, and clearly began scoping out the situation. (Really though, he looked like a cat, hair on end, about to pounce.)

10:46- Sundae in hand, Ryan get's up and says we are going to eat it at home. As we stand up to leave, so does suspicious young man. Ryan (very awkwardly, might I add)reaches the door only to turn around and sit right back down. Suspicious man also, stops, and sits at the nearest table. Make uncomfortable eye-contact.

10:47- I open the sundae and try a bite. It was, in fact, delightful.

10:48- Ryan is certain the man I've lovingly nicknamed "Diego" is intending on following us, shanking us, chopping us into little pieces, and tossing us into the ocean. And given his actions that mimic our every move paired with his watchful stare, I suppose it was possible.

10:49- I pretend to get a phone call, address my mother, tell her where we are, what we are doing, and ask if she's on her way. I know, textbook tactic, right? Who says I never paid attention in those stranger danger classes?

10:50- Ryan abruptly gets up from chair and whispers, "we're leaving with this family" as we follow a young family out.

10:50 and 30 seconds: We run to the car with our tails between our legs, looking over each shoulder for Diego's gang waiting to jump us, while rehearsing in our minds every move ever seen in The Karate Kid .

Being followed late at night in Santa Ana, CA: Way no. 2 to ruin your night.

Once we are in our car and peel out of the parking lot we turn the corner and find ourselves witnessing the first few minutes of an accident. A few cars have stopped creating a fence-like road block around the lifeless man. Face down, arms at his side, legs still around his bike. Skull broken open. Frozen. No one is touching him, another man on a bike is behind him a few feet in shock while everyone else stands there dumbfounded. I let out a gasp, and Ryan tells me to look away.
I've never witnessed death so close before. I can hope for the best, but there was little evidence leading to his survival. Heart in stomach, stomach in throat, nervous from running, sick from eating, devastated for those who will soon receive a life-altering phone call, our night is officially ruined. Heart-broken for the guilt of the person that hit the biker... so many emotions. 

Seeing first hand how frail life is: Way no. 3 to inevitably ruin your night.



    THAT was even hard for me to read lol!

    1. I know right? We've so been there like that time we were stalked in Walmart, or when we found a hair in your mexican food... the list goes on.


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